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However, it will make a bad situation worse and may create problems where none existed. Again, try to have some assertive phrases ready for potential situations. It is easy to react passively or aggressively, but a top PA will always stop before speaking and acting to consider the assertive option first. Another technique I found very effective was asking questions. As we have said, body language is the most telling of all the ways we communicate.

I have suggested ways you can speak to people, phrases and questions you could use, but you have to have assertive body language too otherwise it defeats the objective. Keep your body relaxed with non-threatening arm positioning and not frowning.

Smiling may not always be appropriate, but try to keep your face fairly neutral. If you are going into a situation where you feel you need to be assertive, always plan ahead. Consider the best time, think about your opening statement and potential replies, think about how you will stand, your tone of voice. I appreciate that all this can seem very time consuming but it will really be worth it if the situation ends well. Also, when you do this regularly, it becomes easier and you will eventually do it almost automatically. Heather had over 20 years' experience as a secretary and PA before setting up Baker Thompson Associates Limited in www.

Learning to be assertive: Finding the balance between aggressive and submissive behaviour

The company specialises in the training and development of PAs and administrative staff. She travels around the world working with large and small organisations to enable their office staff and PAs to work more effectively. She is the creator of the BakerWrite speedwriting system and the author of Speedwriting. BakerWrite speedwriting can also be learnt online at www.

Improve Tact While Being Aggressive and Assertive - Jocko Willink and Echo Charles

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. By Heather Baker on May 25, Communication.

How can we be assertive? Knowledge and confidence Knowing your subject, understanding the people involved, planning your strategy, doing your research, preparing; all vital for you to come across as assertive. You have three options: 1. Aggressive response You speak sternly to him or shout at him, telling him that what he has done looks really bad and is not acceptable.

4 Benefits Of Being Assertive

Assertive response This is what you should do. Avoid being passive or aggressive It is easy to react passively or aggressively, but a top PA will always stop before speaking and acting to consider the assertive option first. Ask questions Another technique I found very effective was asking questions. Body language As we have said, body language is the most telling of all the ways we communicate.

Plan ahead If you are going into a situation where you feel you need to be assertive, always plan ahead. As a senior assistant, you will no longer go into any tricky situations without a plan. September 25, 0. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Listen respectfully and don't interrupt when they are speaking. When you're practicing assertiveness, it's important to speak in a way that doesn't imply accusations or make the other person feel guilty.

Speaking your truth with candor shouldn't mean making others feel wrong.

How to Be Assertive

Be simple, direct, and concise, and state what you know to be true for you. When asserting yourself, remember, less is more. To be assertive without coming across as hostile, use "I" statements. Make it a habit to say things like "I think Being assertive might make you feel excited, but excitement can sometimes come across as aggression. Learn to stay cool and calm when expressing yourself; it will make you more confident and allow the other person to relax. Remember to breathe normally and be mindful of body language and eye contact. Be present with each other.

Being assertive: Reduce stress, communicate better - Mayo Clinic

Boundaries are the rules and limits you create for yourself that help you decide what you will and won't allow. You don't want people to walk all over you, but you don't want people to think you are a bully, either. Assertiveness is like any other skill--it takes practice and time to get it right.

What Is Assertiveness?

Keep working through each of these techniques and soon you will feel more confident. The opinions expressed here by Inc.


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